Globalboho.Life: It takes a soft boiled village/ visual learners.

Or “When actually DOING exactly what Lisa @downshiftology shows you to do to get theeeeeee perfect Yolk in a diy soft-boiled egg Works!”

I’ve been Making eggs since I was maybe 5. #middlekid #latchkeykids #bothparentsworking #boxesofsugarsmacksaside

#bigbrowasonlygonnadosomuch

#dontburnthehousedownAngel #mwahmwahmwah.

Eggs may have been the First thing I was allowed to cook. #overeasy, baby! 82% of the time they were #Jackeduglyeggs because #thekid (aka #theAngel) never had THAT kinda #prettyeggpatience.

Two decades later, whoever owns Balthazar NY may have put a grandkid through college on my level of pilgrimaging to them for #softboiledeggs over the years. Later, I ruined enough dozens of eggs attempting to make them at home btwn treks when the 4th book symptoms became “Learn to COOook!EVERYTHING!” while hosting for Thomas Keller at  Bouchon Bakery, a spot in Columbus circle that shared kitchens and ArtHeadChefs with Per se, The BEST restaurant in town. My quiche was #JuliaChildish & if pushed differently, Kellerish.  But any other eggs? Nah.

I took Audrey Hepburn’s advice, accepting the realities &drawing focus elsewhere at first, finding out if lovers had over easy skills to shore up exhausted breakfast devourings as latent prerequisites later on.

The only time my egg fuckery dissipated was while catering #dolcevita in nola. I found a fried sweet spot like a savant because a LOT of money was involved… &the more ingeniously pretty their weirdly named food Was, the hungrier they were,which means they came back for more. Immediately. Other side of drunkenly. Lesson: #Prettyfood Will snuff out #areyoufulltho? &birth #heretakemy💸 whilst partying in new Orleans. But Soon as that gig was up(&I had a former chef & 3 gruffshort order cooks bookending me on other days, wise food brains I could pick, #helped) I forgot it all.

Even with this spring’s NYC homecoming, the Balthazar treks were to close that gooey eggy circle lol. It was Epic to order something else the 2nd &3rd times.

…But @DOWNSHIFTOLOGY? Lisa’s not a classically trained chef from what I understand. She started going for cooking bliss from a health self-healing place. Her story is actually really cool. She’s about 40, but happy, so she vibes ten younger.

I came across a video of hers on YouTube. Where she -talk about some decadent Virgoan appeal shit here-did a Dozen of eggs, all at different times so you could actually See which amount of minutes your perfect eggs were.

It was the most systematically hedonistic thing I’d witnessed all season. & once in there it was only a matter of time before I got back on that horse. I was too visually turned on by the glory of it all not to try again after all these years. Months later, I finally tested out her style Today.

The weird joy that ensued from learning a new way to do something Important in my life oeuvre for myself is invigorating. I love learning. The neuroplasticity of it all turns me on. But it was that I watched her video Once in June or July &it is IN there that is the coolest.

…I never realized I was a visual learner. I love reading & books. But God’s pointing out when it comes to cookbooks, the pics are the things that get me everytime, trying to Make THAT…which I never did with art class. Matisse, I love you, but I came not here to mimic thee.

I didn’t go the Fine Arts/MFA route because after 4yrs as a visual art major at a performing arts high school with 12+ years of additional tangible art education at local museums, the idea of paying an institution to watch me paint in the style of old masters & then critique that approximation(the summation I was given) was moronic.

…But here it feels blissful.

Maybe because I get to eat it lol.

 

OH.

My perfect boiled egg?

4min.

…sprinkled with black charcoal salt, cayenne pepper and basil.

From watching her video I knew exactly where my sweet spot fell. The outer white is just firm enough to exist outside the daintily peeled shell. Which I’d never seen. Because that is usually inside the shell you hack off. I hack off. But I knew what I was enjoying lol.

-AB.

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