I carry no hubris about the peripatetic life I live as an Artistwriterwoman.
Frankly, you can’t help but be humble living out of a suitcase ten+ years. Especially when you’re doing it in search of the grace of zones receptive to you chiseling yer weird alternate world vision into their spaces- for others to decompress in for a bit. You can’t help being ego-less as you grapple with the world-building aspect of your geist in words along the sidelines of whatever jobs you take on wherever you go.
I signed up for this. Fashioned it from some variables that underscore the grace of god when it comes to slapstick haberdasheries lol.
After Paul gets all
“Look- the one thing i Have apprehended [fn gotten] in all this ‘following God-given Geists <after he knocks you offa horses you climbed yer ass up on, blinding you and ish>’ mess is this: Press the Fuck Forward towards the true prize, dammit! Let’s Gooo!!!! [Philippians 3:12-ish]”).
… he really went Rogue.
& I initially inadvertently ambled into That whole weird head Paul talks about in Philippians 4:11-15 11 Not that I speak from [any personal] need, for I have learned to be content [and self-sufficient through Christ, satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or uneasy] regardless of my circumstances. 12I know how to get along and live humbly [in difficult times], and I also know how to enjoy abundance and live in prosperity. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret [of facing life], whether well-fed or going hungry, whether having an abundance or being in need. 13 I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.] 14 Nevertheless, it was right of you to share [with me] in my difficulties. ( here’s a link to what the frank I’m talking about here 🙂 )
…but it’s been consciously the focus for a loooong time.
The Only reason ALL of you reading this ever met me out on the road for AOLAB is that up there. God doing that through this . Why am I writing this today? Because lately… I’ve had a glaring resurgence of instances where all THAT was misconstrued, totally missed and consciously ignored- the whathaveyous, I used to call them. I used to pull those who misunderstood that aside and really explain what was being treated like it was fine print, putting the onus upon myself seeing as though I’m the one stream of conscious broadcasting all this when felt led.
I’ve decided not to address them one on one anymore. Because I finally accept that some people WANT to misconstrue what I’ve been saying, doing. And that has more to do with the things they want to do…yet wont… and what they think is IN all this itinerant arthead ness…that isn’t. It hasn’t mattered that Whenever they came to me with questions or asking for leads, insights, actual contacts at places I found God’s grace via good people that I Never turned them down. It hasn’t mattered that I encourage EVERY artist I meet dancing with the beautiful beast having an odd eye on this world IS, no matter Where they are on that trajectory, OR that I think Everybody is an Artist, we just gotta fig our particular mediums. Because it wasn’t about that either.
I’ve never lied about Working everywhere I go to DO this. I’ve never glamourized this. Too many kids read this. The variables in this skid at inopportune times often enough that it’s like gaaah~ But if you’re 22, feeling the call to go Do this crazy assed “LIVE life DO art” shit and terrified…do it anyway. It’s your calling. It’s actually FUN as fuck, even when it is This close to sucking and things don’t line up the way you’d thought, hoped, prayed- whatever.
And if you DONT do it, every person you see going for it is going to trigger you to spew bizarre jealousy tinged barbs out of you whenever you notice what looks like the car coasting… because your demons that are making a punk out of you simply want you to remain castrated from your calling on the sidelines. And every one of their Successes on that same trek that you’re watching…you’re going to glare at silently, with no Love or congratulations. It’s the same jealous impulse controlling you in both instances. That same demon controlling you, keeping you from your calling. And it’s how entire battalions of creativeheads are destabilized and cast out.
But in the surreal space between my speaking candidly on How God factors into the ebb and flow of things Yesterday… God was so glaringly missed that it confirmed what another Creative out in the field said to me the other day- everyone is feeling under attack, tremulous. But it also confirmed that in a certain sect… He sorely wanted to be missed. It was made sure I could see THAT once and for all. Who was reaching out and …for what.
To keep having the single conversations… is to keep space in the universe for the single conversations.
- Not one of the RSS’ers who helped me decide it really was time to write this post said ONE word regarding the completion and digital release of all ten of the first #grievechronic books.
- Not one of them participated by congratulations or comprehension of the #grievechronicdday free book drop campaign that began on June 6th, literally giving the books away across this summer in gratitude to God and those who helped make the first Amazing half of 2018 a blessed reality. Not a peep.
Yet…because of the current energy in the world…they ALL rose up with weirdness regarding the previous post, dialing in to get their dark takes verified. Nonstop yesterday. Because there’s a lot of that backhanded glee vibe circulating out in the crippled world these days. Roaming, looking for something to bite into…and like I said. I had a few of the conversations as per past norm. Because regardless of where they were coming from, I knew the true north of where God has me right now. I know who I’m with.
And in each of those conversations I did deign to have…on the other side of their weird glee in offering me thises and thats that they had to reach out to me to offer on the gleeful assumption that I needed those thises and thats and would’ve asked them( only to leave That out down the road when they gossiped about the whole thing lol time and time again) …what came out was the truth of where They were operating from. Not One of them was secure in whatever they had going on…
Repeatedly the narrative went from “haha-it must suck to be you…you mustve meant you need a crumb from me, haaa… TO omg, trying to live MY life has me doing xyz that’s soo tormenting me-” when, nonplussed I embraced whatever their take on the uncertainty in my life is, long as they accepted my addition of GOD into those takes.
Being frank…most of the shit you guys are ashamed of, living-wise are not that big of a whoop for me.
It’s ALL life.
it all IS.
When you GET that, the shit becomes fertilizer- gas for leaps your laying on your back judging those stumbling up into flight actually Need lol. To BURN. And if we’re blessed while on this rock, we all are going to taste a variety of it to develop our emotional palette.. to the place of “All things~” working together for our good.
But by 8 oclock last night, after umpteen ” RUFNKidding-that’s how you read that?s”…
I had the last one of those conversations I’m ever going to have.
…So to… everyone…of you… who i actually Love…because I know you’re going Through it in a way that only by the Grace of God I am not, no matter what I’m walking out…while you’re sitting there…carping and bad energizing the realm Instead of going for your bliss with courage… due to wherever in the Kubler-Ross arc you may be trapped with your own shit…
Tomorrow is the #grievechronicddaydropzone digital freebie day for Eutaxis, book one in the grievechronicles series on Kindle. If you don’t Have a Kindle, you can download the Kindle app for free onto your phones. Now~ You can go buy it today if you’d like. That’d be really cool of you. Positive.
But tomorrow IT is my gift to you.
Go do something NICE for someone.
And if THAT grates your skin, you should probably not RSS follow this blog any longer. There are a Lot of giveaways that are going down this summer.
If you’re not going to Support… the intention to use my books to set adults just like you free from inner demons keyed to abuses suffered as kids… why are you here?
Because that’s why I’m here.
That’s the ONLY reason you even know my name.
Because otherwise, I’m not really the extroverted type lol.
The sad part? A lot of the very group I wrote this FOR… turned away as soon as they saw that Philippians quote.
…and for those “concerned” quietly… for real…
If I’m staying stateside I have to find an interim gig because I was offered a perfect writerhead, just my kind of decadent restaurant side gig that starts late July/early August. I was going to accept one that I got the check from above in the midst of being offered. And I listened to it. So I’m still in find coverage mode.
All I actually want to do is hole up & write from now until the spot opens. But that hasn’t stopped the hunt on both sides of the country for the past two months, even before I wrapped book production in Venice. Because I’m a fureaking Virgo who loves God. I’m also waiting to hear on some funding for another residency. And I’m walking out an interim one [grant] landed to the fumes, maan. But when It came… it was right on time. Just like God said it would be.
Yall- who REALLY care- …thank you.
But you really should be used to this by now lolol.
You really want to help out? Buy some copies of the grievechronic series on Amazon [ https://amzn.to/2GfPD8k ] and give them as gifts to every dang body lol.
You can do that. Buy twenty and give Each of them AS a gift Through the site. The first four you can give as paperbacks for your more Haptically-inclined folks, the remaining six as Kindles. It’ll take a few months to hit (#royaltylags), but hey~! lol.
Help, don’t Harp.
Don’t let your demons make you into another spiritual battle someone has to go all sword of truth on when they already have a full plate in these Trumpian times.
God doesn’t even MAKE harpies anymore lol.
We gotta let that shit go, yall.
oh. That pic? Kalari. It’s a southern Indian martial art that supposedly the Monk who ended up teaching the Shaolin Monks practiced down in Kerala. It’s very dancey. I love it.
Dreams to do it, she does lol.
I love yall.
Alot of you are punkasses.
That I still love. That’s kinda the point.
…go Doooooo Something! Geez!